Recent events have bought me to an important conclusion that I feel I should share.
I guess, that like everyone who is upon a journey of discovery , there are times when we all fail to realise that what we are doing may be compromised or doomed to failure.
Sometimes our species determination will make us pursue an act even though we know of its futility.
This relates once more to aspects in all worlds, from the ritual doomed to achieve nothing, to trying to fix a motorcar using parts of a washing machine (unless you are repairing a Skoda), the tenacity of our race often means that we fail to know when to stop and say "hold on, enough is enough".
This is not the same ethic as "this is too hard , I cant be bothered" no, that is not an admirable quality, this relates to our refusal to admit that we will fail knowing so, and our willingness to pursue that inevitable failure.
Of course , for the most tenacious among us this determination occasionally pays off, there by further fueling our future delusions.
I am not suggesting that we stop this behaviour as it is the way we evolve and learn, only that we trust our senses, one hundred percent, if the voice in the head is saying this wont work, listen to it, I am not suggesting that you walk away from the problem only that you start to look at it from another perspective.
Everyone has walked into a meeting ,gathering , moot or party at some point in their life, doomed by the feeling that "this is pointless, being here serves no purpose", yet failing to walk away " well, that was a waste of time", this is not always the fault of others either, the being in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong frame of mind, any number of factors can be an influence.
A ritual gathering, circle cast invocations are made, the group goes through all the usual actions, but there is no presence, that feeling, the one that is mentioned so rarely, that I truly believe there are a lot of writers and occultists who have never experienced it(almost like you should feel guilty for admitting it, and a subject for further discussion), the one that equates to a kind of fear, the sensation that you are in that place and being observed, is not there.
How often do we as people persist with the event, failing to admit that this ritual will not work and is futile, afraid to change the form or shape, this is how it must be done!
If it is failing, STOP, I know you may have travelled to be together, just try something else, close the compass and go down the pub, cuveen another time, after working out what the issues are.
It might be someone is distracted through illness or something other, it may be as I will get to shortly that this person is emotionally to close to the situation involved in the work.
This also applies to working alone, I felt had this happen in both circumstances, and have myself on occasion failed to walk away, like admitting I was failing in the task, only to discover a few hours, days or weeks later that another path was the correct one to take, horrified at the idea of coming home early and having to admit when asked " how did you feel that went" that I had in some way failed, I find that most of the time these days I feel the confidence to just go back to the lab and start again when dealing with the familiar.
There are also those times when we do need to persist, the truth can be hidden amongst the wreckage,the true mysteries require tenacity to acquire the correct keys, so with all three eyes wide open we make our judgements,this is really the point I am endeavouring to make here, the importance of stubbornness over apathy and at which point do we give up and change course.
However, when it comes to certain more unfamiliar things I fail.
Tarot is something I use, but rarely, it takes a long time for me, as I am not as instinctive with it as I would like to be, I appreciate the value and depth that it brings and enjoy it, yet have not really studied it as an occult science.
I do a reading for myself only rarely and a yearly spread once a year, this years was encouraging and has given me the impetus to do more, T asked me to do a reading for her, the answer should have been NO,but in my arrogance I agreed.
I am too close to the situation, the reading was floored as I could not honestly be objective, putting my own paranoid delusions on to a quite healthy forecast, my interpretation was clouded by my own feelings of how this should fit in with my reading, T is the closest person in my life and my soul twin, the only person in this world and the next that I should not be divining for.
So, after half a day of storming round the house I eventually realised my error, and was able to be more objective, tying in her reading with mine, bearing in mind the way we are and not just my perception of it, and learning that objectivity does not really apply between T and I.
all is now well and the future looks interesting, in the house of the Cunning man.